Sunday, December 6, 2009

Everybody's Happy Nowadays

I can feel myself going down again. I’ve been down so much I know the signs. I don’t want to be sad. I’ve been in a good mood for a few days now and I guess all good things come to an end. Maybe this time I won’t be as down for so long. There is a light; I just need to reach it.
It started when I went shopping. I went to the stores we used to shop at. I kept thinking I would see you there. I would turn around and there you would be. You would hug me. You would realize you still love me.
Just being my delusional self I guess.
I need to start going to other stores where I know you won’t show up. I know that someday I will run into you, and hopefully we will be happy to see each other. It won’t be awkward and weird. We will be happy for each other. You’ve moved on and started a new life already and in time I will too.
Sometimes I think I’m ready. I’ll see a girl somewhere and think that I should go talk to her. That won’t happen.  You know me; I never make the first move.
All I ever want to do anymore is try and sleep or write.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. You are never far from my mind.
I miss you today.
I hope you get to be happy someday. Then it will be my turn.

1 comment:

  1. fantasies aren't delusions... there's a big difference.

    even thinking of approaching another is a good sign.

    your happiness is not contingent on hers...