It’s kind of a glum day. It’s cloudy and cold. I spent the drive into work thinking about my situation. A friend of mine asked if I was actually happy in my marriage, the answer is sometimes. But if I wasn’t happy all the time, why am I so sad now? Is it because after all this time, I am alone? Am I just used to having someone around? It’s the stupid crap I miss the most. Eating dinner and I look up; she gives me a little smile. Going to a movie and she lays her head on my shoulder, or we are watching something funny on TV and she would look my way to see if I’m laughing too.
I’m not saying that I’m not happy now. I am at times. I think about it a lot less then I used too. It’s natural to think about things like this. We were together along time and there a lot of memories. I’m making new memories now. Not replacing them, not forgetting but moving on and away from us. I stopped thinking in terms of us awhile ago. Now it’s you and me. No longer together, but separate.