Zen Arcade

I have a band name tattooed on my arm. It wasn't topical. I do not regret it. If I was in the chair I would get the same one. I've touched upon my upbringing. It sucked. We can agree on that. It shaped the person I am today. I am not bitter about it. I just don't care.

In 1986 I heard a song on the radio. The station was 88.1 KUCR , a collage station out of Riverside. They would play punk and what is now considered indie rock. I heard a song called Broken Home Broken Heart by Husker Du. It was nothing like I had ever heard before. It's like this song was written just for me. A two minute punk rock blast had had captured everything perfectly.

I called the station and asked what album it was on. The next day I ditched school hopped on a bus to San Bernardino. I got off at the Mall. I can't remember the name of the mall. I think it's called the Carousel Mall now. I walked to Licorice Pizza across the street and bought it. Zen Arcade by Husker Du. The cover was bleak. A couple people standing in a junkyard. I looked at the names of the songs on the back cover. I couldn't wait to get home.

I went straight to my room and put the record on. I was completely blown away. The power , the urgency. Everything was perfect. Every note rang true with me. I understood every word. Everything was about me. I didn't feel alone anymore. Someone understood. Someone knew what was going on.

Whenever I would fight with her I would lay down with my headphones on and dissolve into Zen Arcade.

The name Husker Du translates to Do You Remember.

I had Husker Du tattooed on my left arm. I never want to forget the pain and horror I went through. I never want to forget that no matter how hard things are, there is somebody going through the exact same thing you are. They will survive it and you will too.