Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I'm in with the out crowd

I’m in with the out crowd

It seems that the lower dregs have always attached themselves to me. The losers and outcast were always my friends in school. Not pretty enough for the A-list cliques, not rich enough.. I’m more comfortable with them.

We would sit and make fun of them. Their perfect little worlds with parents who always got along, had jobs, never had to wonder where they were going to get dinner, always knew where home was. We would convince ourselves that they only thought they were happy. They didn’t have the problems like we did.

We were so jealous. We had to get our clothes at thrift stores and clearance racks. We would get free school lunches. We wore the wrong clothes. We listened to the wrong music. We sucked at sports and had no clue how to talk to girls. We never got invited to the parties or dances at school.

Of course now that I’m older I realize that they were just like us. They had the same hopes and fears my little group of losers had. They just dealt with it differently.

Even to this day when I see a group of people having fun, I wonder how they do that. How do they talk and get along? Was I born with a defect in my brain? Why can’t I ever be part of the group? After all these years I’m still a bit envious of them. Everybody wants to be popular. Everyone craves attention.


  1. I haven't found a person yet, no matter what the clique in school, that does not remember being mostly awkward and miserable! Everyone's problems are relative, I guess.

    I like to believe I'm not nearly the social misfit I was then...hard to say... at least I know I like myself about a gazillion times better!

  2. I'm still a misfit, but I'm cool with it now. I've grown to like being on the outside looking in.