The mornings are the worst time. I wake up imagining she is waking up in someone else’s arms. Waking up after the best night of her life, something only he can do. If I don’t get up and do something I’ll dwell on it all day long.
Her birthday is this week. Do I get her something? Something small and impersonal, or do I just say fuck it and ignore it?
Danny was my own personal bully. We were friends, but one day in ninth grade he decided he needed to beat me. I’m not sure what happened. He would grab me after science class and slam me into the wall, grabbing my shirt and throwing me. I always did the same thing. I stood there. I never moved. I never spoke. He never actually hit me. He would just stick his face inches away from mine and just yell, shoving me harder into the wall.
This got to be a routine. Everyday after fourth period I would get shoved around. He’d stop and I would follow another group of bigger kids to lunch. A few months of this I started to get tired of it. I knew he wasn’t ever going to do anything. It became an inconvenience more then anything. I’d get shoved, follow the kids, go to lunch and stare at my crush for awhile. Hoping she didn’t see Danny shoving me around and thinking I’m some wimp.
He started flattening my bike tires. Everyday I would go get my bike and the tires were flat. Fuck Danny, I got on my bike and rode it home anyway. I’d patch the tires and he’d flatten them. My mom told me to tell the principal. I tried to tell her how that would make things worse.
Eventually he stopped. He got a girlfriend and started ignoring me. She was a nice girl. I couldn’t figure out what she saw in this asshole. I guess it was that he was a bad boy.
High School started and I never saw him again.