3

Day three


Of my head spinning

Day three

Of no sleep

Day three

Of living on cigarettes and coffee

Day three

Of wondering what the fuck is going on with my life

Day three

Of pushing people away

Day three

Of trying to pinpoint my downfall

Day three

Of telling myself that it will it will get better

Day three

Of realizing love hurts

Day three

Of looking at my friends like they are strangers

Day three

Of wanting it all to go away

Day three

Of missing her

Day three

Of wishing I wasn’t so damn codependent

Day three

Of staring into the darkness of my home

Day three

Of waiting for the light to appear again



I can’t sleep. It’s been days. I went out and bought a thick memory foam mattress pad thing that might help. It didn’t, the bed is softer, but I still can’t close my eyes. I was up all night with horrible stomach pains. They would come and go. Each time they came it was like a getting hit with a hammer in my gut. This has happened before. My doctor told me they were from stress. What the hell do I have to be stressed about? I have a roof over my head. I have a job. I have two amazing kids who love me. I’m seeing someone that makes me feel like a complete person again.



Maybe this is just how I’m supposed to be.