I’ve been in a really pissy mood lately, more cynical than usual. I’m just fed up with dating, romance, and love in general. Love is just a chemical reaction. There is no such thing as romance. It’s only lust. There is no “the one” no one is the one. Your dream girl/boy does not exist. No one is perfect for you. If you want love, go see a movie.
Last night I got drunk for the first time in six years. You know what happens when you mix alcohol and Lithium? You get really drunk, really fast. I turned off my laptop and phone, and just enjoyed it. I sat in silence and drank. I though about how my life had become a complete waste of time, and how I squandered away everything since last October, I basically sat around feeling sorry for myself for almost a year now.
Then I got angry. Really angry, at myself, the ex wife, the girl I dated for awhile. I hated all of us. I hated me for sinking so low and becoming a whiney little girl. I hated the ex for just being her I guess. I hated date girl because she didn’t have the decency to be honest with me when be stopped seeing each other. I went to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling great. I needed to be angry. I needed to realize that love is a lie.