Monday, May 17, 2010

I suppose it's human nature.

If I could stop thinking, I would.
If I could stop feeling, I would.
If I could stop caring, I would.

How can feeling so good make me feel so bad? I over think everything. I automatically assume that when I call someone, they are seeing my name and ignoring me. I have to remind myself that they are probably busy. Not everyone wants to talk on the phone all day.
I need constant reassurance. That’s new. I hate it. I don’t want to be that way. I try not to be, but it doesn’t work. I think after my divorce, I got a little scared. I’m constantly looking for the signs. And that just sucks.
When I’m with her or talking to her, I’m happy, when I’m not, I get sad. I have no food to speak of in my house, but I won’t go buy any. The laundry is piling up, and I’m running out of clothes, but I won’t wash them. No, I’d rather starve and wear dirty clothes.
I need to stop reading into things and just enjoy the time we have together. I need to stop freaking out when we don’t talk.

Easier said than done.

I don’t want to stop feeling.
I don’t want to stop caring.
The thinking I can do without.


  1. Just remember...everytime you feel that, how many messages or texts are you too busy for or ignoring anf the person on the other end is probably feeling the same way you are....insecure, unsure of the frienshipe they thought may have been forged. Just sayin' ;)

  2. The only person who can ALWAYS be there for you is YOU...that is the glory of having more than one friend.